David Coppedge is Guilty (Again)

Must we sift through the entire sordid affair of David Coppedge yet again? Although we have repeatedly and conclusively proved Coppedge’s guilt (which everyone already knew anyway), some dim-witted judge has now decided that the case has the merit to move forward. Recall that we provided iron-clad proof (and yes, our sources are very reliable) that while in college Mr. Coppedge, then in his Sophomore year, once argued late into the night with his roommate and one other student (from down the hall) about various political issues. Furthermore we proved that Mr. Coppedge was seen entering a bookstore on campus. Our source, who was naturally curious, ascertained that Coppedge browsed several controversial books in the Philosophy section of that bookstore.

Since that time we have learned more, much more. For instance, we now have records indicating that Coppedge has been checking out books from his local public library. One of them was about science.

We had hoped to have an out-of-court settlement that could keep this from getting ugly. We approached a certain individual—a go-between—with our damning evidence. His response, predictably, was that our evidence was too spotty. He missed, most likely on purpose, the entire point. And that point is that our evidence, regardless of how “spotty,” reveals an unmistakable pattern.

And that’s what this is about. Patterns and behaviors. And ulterior motives. Coppedge has demonstrated a clear and obvious pattern, year in and year out, of thinking. Not only that, but he questions things. Of course he was fired and blackballed—that’s what we do with people who think.

We once again stand in full support of the actions of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory which acted in great wisdom in this matter.