Breaking: Remote Evolutionists Discovered

A Cottage Industry Coming to an End

In recent years anthropologists have increasingly come to accept what seemed inevitable: there were no more evolutionists to be found. People groups who believe they arose spontaneously have always been a source of fascination. How could such a mythology propagate and persist in entire cultures? Naturally such findings were rare, and with the continuing education and outreach efforts, such bizarre beliefs became increasingly rare. “Gone are the days,” complains professor Charles Henzwich, “that one could count on finding at least one or two evolution-worshipping villages on a summer expedition to the outback.” That is why this week’s surprise announcement, by an international team, of a remote, undiscovered clan of evolutionists has academia buzzing and is giving Henzwich and his colleagues hope. “Perhaps mythologies just never go away,” Henzwich concluded with a sense of wonder.